I feel left out.
November 21st, 2009 § 3 Comments
(photo via)
You know when everyone gets together, talking about their achievements, plans for the future, etc. When that happens, suddenly I feel like I have been inside a shielding bubble and that I only got out to hear everyone else’s successes. It’s enough torture that you already know nothing interesting is happening in your life and hearing someone else talk about their triumphs is already suicide.
It sucks when life gives you an opportunity and you expect so much of it only to find out it’s not what you expect, and you’re stuck in the same place where you were before. I hate being left out. I don’t like it when I see people (acquaintance, close friend, family, stranger, etc.) where they want to be, the complete opposite to where I am. It’s not because I don’t want them to succeed, maybe it’s just because I can’t seem to believe that life is different for everyone else. And that the time frame between two people is different.
Lately, I have been feeling quite pensive as to where I am heading to. There is no guarantee, indeed. And it’s another thing that I hate. I despise uncertainty. (The only ironic thing is that no matter how I dislike it, I am looking very much to the future. I am so much of a dreamer and a realist at the same time.) I watched the film “Small Voices” and it made me think a lot about my future.
(photo via)
You know, Literature isn’t the first course that comes to your mind if you want an immediate job after college. Which is why my parents and relatives asked me to rethink my preferences before I enrolled. I am stubborn when making decisions because I know there is something that I really, really like and I’d push through with it. Halfway through the endeavor, I start to doubt myself.
The exact same thing is happening to me right now. I know of the economic divide in society and I know where my family stands. But I have never been more aware of it until recently, in college, when I am forced to think of my future and what I will be doing.
A lot of students pursue college because they want to provide for their families. I am no different. The reality of life, of college, of being a Literature student is that you don’t get picked out right after graduation. There are even the odds of being forced to take a different path just so you can provide.
I don’t want that to happen to me.
hey… stop that! YOU ARE NOT LEFT OUT! heck… i’m in no place to say anything about how you are feeling… but.. i know one way on how to solve that icky feeling! haagen dazs baby! all for yourself!=)
cheer up… just look at rain’s face and you’ll be happy na! (and i mean the REAL rain… MY rain.. is CRAP!)
my goodness ize… i really love you. you know that.
but we only have selecta here because haagen dazs is freakin’ expensive! anyway, i call dibs on the limited edition chocolate truffle. naabutan mo ba yun?
i have another list of “men to look at” sorry, rain isn’t one of them.
Don’t be. I know you’re going to have a bright future as long as you succeed in college. It’s better to take something you like and earn less than to enroll in something you are forced to and earn a lot. Come to think of it, are you happy with what you are right now? If yes, then there’s no reason to doubt. Continue treading until you reach your destination so that you can view your horizon.Good luck!